← Seth Putnam

The things we own end up owning us

June 20, 2025 · originally on Shelter

Every direction I turn, I am poked and prodded to buy. Once upon a time, ads broadcast into the void. Now, the Algorithm calls us by name.

An ad I heard this morning began with the question, “Who doesn’t want more of… everything?” Me, for one.

Another was from one of the big AI firms, interrupting a video about the Sony TC-D5 cassette field recorder — which, just between us girls, I think could fix me. In the ad, a father asks a chatbot, “How do I get my 2-year-old to eat his breakfast?”

“He likes funny faces,” the AI replies. So the father, relieved to outsource the act of getting to know his child to the machine, serves up whimsical pancakes with mouse ears.

A USC study found that people see roughly 5,000 ads per day, up 10x from what they saw in the 1970s. And: “On average, children see 20,000 thirty-second commercials each year. Adults see an average of 2 million of those on a yearly basis.”

Which leads me to the question I’ve been asking myself nearly every day, with no answer: How should I live in a culture that relentlessly pushes me toward the Cliff of Consumption?

My siblings, all born in the 1970s, remember when they had to wait for Jordans to make it in bulk to the hinterlands of southwest Missouri — or twiddle their thumbs patiently while their coveted limited-edition G.I. Joe shipped on special order.

My kids, born almost 50 years later, want it (all) now. Acquiring the latest thing — or replacing it when it’s carelessly damaged — is no longer out of the question because of access, it’s now an issue of how many times you can say no.

The consumption works unnervingly on me, too. Maybe the analog tape deck really could solve all my quandaries. Or the $19 post-swim martini with $18 caesar salad (+$12 add chicken). Or the IKEA catalog that says, “No matter what goes wrong, at least you’ve got that sofa problem handled.” (I am the byproduct of Jack’s lifestyle obsession.)

Kurt Vonnegut used to tell a story about a party he attended with Joseph Heller at a billionaire’s home on Shelter Island. Vonnegut remarked that their host had made more money in one day than Heller’s bestseller Catch 22 had throughout its entire publication.

“But I have something he’ll never have,” Heller replied. “Enough.”

While we’re doing old saws, here are some more: They say the quickest way to double your salary is to halve your expenses. (Good luck finding places to cut, though.) And Thoreau famously described the true price of anything as “the amount of life you exchange for it.” (Must. increase. shareholder. value. to finance The Vibe ™️.)

There is a tension here. I have a modicum of taste. I like objects. As an editor, I’m continually questioning where the things I’m coveting (and recommending) fall on the spectrum of need-versus-envy.

Disappointingly, I am left with the same old questions: What does it mean to successfully cultivate a philosophy of “enough” — even while we are held in the boa-constrictor embrace of a system designed to efficiently squeeze every last cent out of us? And how do you defend yourself in the small, quiet moments when the Algorithm visits your boudoir just before you drift off to sleep?

Are you there, Algorithm? It’s me, Seth. Please serve me recommendations for a stylish fanny pack for my EDC that can hold fair-trade, organic fruit snacks, AirPods Pro 1, Opinel No. 8 folding knife, and my existential dread (without making me look like a tourist).

This just in from the Algorithm: It’s the Trail 2 Waist Pack from REI in Apex Blue!

away we go.


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Seth Putnam is an editor and writer in Chicago. He lives with his wife, son, and daughter in a 1920s home that is the epitome of a work in progress.


"Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it." —Mary Oliver